16 YEARS OLD & I WENT TO FRANCE? (MY FOREIGN EXCHANGE STORY)

HI GUYS!

This is one of my absolute favorite stories to tell. Looking back on this trip, I have so many fond memories of the entire experience. For starters, yes, I was 16 years old at the time I decided I wanted to participate in a foreign exchange program in France. 

Well, for starters, my high school did this amazing opportunity through the French Department that if you were a French student at the high school, you could participate in this trip. On average, they would take about 20 students from the entire school on the trip, and you had to apply. Typically, most of the students who participated in this trip were third or fourth year French students. I, on the other hand, had just barely finished a year of French and had it under my belt. This was a challenge. But I was up for it.

I went home the night I found out that the trip was going to be held over Spring Break and I announced to my parents not with the “asking” attitude, but more of the “I’m doing this” attitude when I told them my dream.

My parents have always known that I am incredibly determined, hardworking, and motivated when it comes to anything I want to do. That’s just how my personality works. I believe if there’s something you want to do, you’ll find a way to do it. So, they knew that I would muster up the cash to go.

Oh, boy did I. Once I was accepted into the program, I paid for the entire trip myself. Between the airfare, hotel fees, food, tour guides, and souvenirs I probably spent about $5,500 on the trip total. All of which, I proudly worked my part time high school job and earned all of the money for which I had been saving up.

So, Spring 2013, during the first day of my Spring Break as a junior in high school, I flew to France.

What an experience. May I say that. Before this, I had never ever been to Europe. And I have never gone without my family. I’ve gone out of the country to cruises down in the Caribbean and Mexico, but that was the extent of my foreign experiences.

After about a 9 hour flight, having all of my bags personally searched and being pat down in airport security, we arrive.

The French International Airport itself gave me a whole whirlwind of emotions. There were so many people, moving, talking, walking in different directions, all so incredibly fast paced. I felt like I was standing there frozen in a sea of fish just swimming past me. I did not even know where to begin because I didn’t understand more than half of the things they were saying. It all just became noise.

The biggest shock that first hit me was when people came up to me asking me questions while they were speaking fluent French. I mean, granted, only know the typical greetings, how to order food, and basic directions I was at a lost for words. But this is where my learning experience truly began and really kicked in.

I had to fully emerge myself in the culture and focus to really, really get a grip on how it was going to be. Talking to the French was equivalent to being tested about 100% of the time on your verbal communication skills, you truly did not have any other choice.

After we arrived we spent about two nights in a little hotel within a small town known as Tours before meeting our exchange families. This town was absolutely beautiful and a perfect way to gain exposure before leaving the group of students I came with from my high school to go stay with the host family that only spoke French.

So the day came when it was time to separate from my group and move in for the next 9 days with my host family. Prior to leaving the United States, I had briefly been able to email my exchange student in order to get an idea of what she was like, her name was Caroline. She had no Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram, no Snapchat, just absolutely nothing. Only an email. How old fashioned right? I had no clue what she was going to really look or be like.

We arrive to their high school, which is a private school that kinda looks the equivalent to a mini college campus. However, that school host grades Kindergarten through 12th Grade. There is a different building for each subject and grade level, and basically they switch classes between different buildings throughout the day.

The English teacher at their school takes us down to the Cafeteria where we are supposed to wait for our foreign exchange students to come down and pick us up and take us home with them. Where we are left to just patiently, patiently wait.

Some of the French students arrive almost immediately to the Cafeteria, take their American exchange student and leave. This goes on for about 30 minutes. As the group of the American exchange students becomes smaller and smaller, I become more nervous and anxious as to what’s going to happen to me. An hour passes. Caroline still hasn’t come for me. An hour and a half, still nothing. I begin to really worry. Tears slowly fill my eyes because I feel that I am absolutely forgotten about in a foreign place and I do not know what I am going to do. Finally, two hours later, she comes for me. Making me the last person picked up in the cafeteria. 

When she comes to pick me up she just looks at me. No hug, no smile, no excitement, nothing. Just a blank stare. So, eagerly, I say, “Bonjour!” in which she reciprocates back and asks me “Ca va?” which means, How are you? I engage her in a very basic French conversation to start off the evening.

I follow her out of the mini college campus looking school. I follow her down the sidewalk and around the corners. All while carrying my 50 pound luggage. I follow her down side roads and across big streets. I follow, I follow, I follow. Finally, we come to a big traffic circle, with a car waiting, parked. This is when I met Caroline’s mother.

Her mother jumped out of the car and said “Hello!” with a very, very heavy French accent. In this moment, I knew that “Hello!” was probably just about the only word she really knew how to speak in English, if not for a few more basic phrases. This worried me. Before coming on this trip, my French teacher back in the United States informed me that these French students abroad were supposed to have about 7-8 years of English under their belt. In other words, completely fluent. This wasn’t the case with me.

As I get in the backseat of her mother’s car and Caroline jumps in the passenger seat, they both turn around starring at me. I kinda got that feeling like I was a new puppy they were bringing home where they just stare at you in awe. So, without knowing how else to handle a situation, I laugh. 

However, French people don’t laugh. At least not these ones. They looked taken back and offended that I was giggling out of nervousness. They thought it was quite odd for me to be doing so.

So I sit hands crossed and ride the rest of the way to their house which was in Saint Germain, France. It is a little suburb right on the outskirts of Paris. On the way there they are telling me about how their house is worth “1.5 million dollars”. In my mind, I’m picturing a gorgeous mansion, absolutely huge house.

We arrive. To a small, small house. Where they make me lug my suitcase up a spiral staircase, and INTO THE ATTIC. Talk about experiences. After following me up and placing my suitcase down, the whole family very excitingly insists that I come outside. So, I follow, again. I follow them down their path to their yard, and over towards a very small small shed looking structure.

My exchange student, goes inside, and pulls out a chicken. She looks at me and says “hold it”. 

This completely took me by surprise. I was shocked this girl wanted me to hold her pet chicken. Where I come from, the extent of your pets was perhaps a dog, maybe a cat, or some small hamsters? You didn’t just go out and hold your pet chicken. It wasn’t a thing.

So, I touch her chicken, more so out of a sense of respect. And then I tell her I don’t eat eggs (which I do) so she doesn’t make me go fetch these eggs in the morning and eat them. Hahaha.

The first two nights were difficult for me, especially in the sense of becoming adjusted to speaking French 100% of the time if I wanted to say something, the 12 hour time difference, and well just sleeping in an attic.

However, the entire trip became to be a wonderful experience. While Caroline went to school, I would go back and meet up with my American group during the day to go out and do some type of touristy adventure. Then once the French students got out of school, we would go back and meet up with them. I always liked meeting back up with the American students because it gave me a chance to speak English again.

While we were on the trip throughout the two weeks, we saw many small French towns, of course Paris, and I even went to Normandy for a weekend with Caroline. However, while I was out and about on my adventure, here are a few things that I learned:

1. There are hardly any blonde people in France.  

Being essentially a natural blonde, immediately made me stand out to be very noticeable while I was there. People were constantly and consistently remarking on my hair color and how I must have been foreign. I would like to say that 90% of the people I saw had dark brown or black hair while I was there. I was considered to be the “odd ball”. 

2. Don’t assume anyone speaks English. 

Once when the group of American foreign exchange students from my high school were staying in the town of Tours, we went walking around and sightseeing. Well, there’s a strip in the main part of town with a bunch of cute shops, restaurants, and bakeries. In one of the shops, there was a group of Americans from Miami and they were just simply on vacation. Well, they went up to the store clerk and demanded to know prices/deals very rudely and was instantly speaking in English, assuming the clerk would respond in English. Then the clerk made them leave because she was offended that they assumed she would speak English for them when they wouldn’t even attempt French. 

3. Eating with your elbows on the table is not considered rude. 

One night, my host family took me out to this beautiful French restaurant. I remember sitting and thinking to myself that I wanted to leave a really great impression on this family as an American student coming into their home. So, in order to do, I made sure all of my manners were flawless. You know the ones you learned as a child, sitting up straight, hands and elbows off the table, putting your napkin on your lap, etc. Well, the entire family was eating with their elbows on the table and made a remark to me that it is indeed considered rude if you do not have your elbows on the table. It is a sign that shows you are not enjoying your meal. So, from that night forward, my elbows were on the table. 

4. Playing charades is acceptable. 

Since the family barely spoke English, most of my communication skills with them were comparable to a game of charades. I was constantly acting out what I was trying to say, you know, doing the arm motions, body motions, and really utilizing my body language. The host family described me as fitting a very “outgoing” stereotype because of the humor I brought to the household, however I was simply most of the time just trying to get across my point. 

5. Cars will NOT stop for you, even if you’re in a crosswalk. 

When I was in Paris with the host family one evening I recall walking down the streets and coming to an intersection. When the family said, come on let’s go, and walked right in front of a car moving 25 mph flying down the streets, I went with my gut and stayed where I was. The locals are fearless when it comes to walking across the streets, so they just put themselves out there. 

7. Pick-pocketers are not as sneaky as you think. 

Throughout this trip I was constantly reminded to keep my belongings near me. You know, your passport, your wallet, your money, and your cell phone. I carried a cross body Michael Kors bag at the time, that had a zipper closure. I highly recommend the zipper closure because it’s a little bit harder to access. Also, carry your bag in front of your body, not behind it. Most of the pick-picketers that approached me, I played their little game. They would ask me a series of questions, you know, trying to distract me, so that another one of their buddies had the opportunity come up and steal something off me. I smiled at them and said “Nice try, I know what you’re doing”, and immediately they left me alone. 

8. Climbing the Eiffel Tower will be the hardest workout of your life. 

This is one of my top ten favorite things I’ve ever done in my life. Instead of taking the traditional elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower, we decided that we would climb all 1,710 steps that would allow us to go as high as we could. During this climb, I experienced rain, wind, snow, and completely freezing conditions. It was absolutely breathtaking at the top. I love watching the paper airplanes we made out of the pamphlets fly down and hit the tops of the heads of the tourists way, way, way below us. 

9. French people do not shower everyday like Americans. 

This is something I had to get used to. Since I am crazy about my hygiene, I have to shower at least once a day. However, this is not the case with the French. I am used to having a time during the morning typically where everyone in the household “gets ready”. Well while I was staying in the French household there was no “time”, you woke up, you ate, and you were ready to go. This resulted in me choosing to shower at night before I went to bed. 

10. You will fall in love with Nutella. 

I had NEVER had Nutella before I went to France. They eat Nutella on absolutely everything. And let me tell you, it is delicious. I absolutely love and crave that hazelnut spread now. I remember the first breakfast they ever gave me was a full sized baguette completely covered in Nutella. Oh, so so so good. 

Going abroad truly is a life changing and eye opening experience. It made me forever grateful and appreciate of the lifestyle that I live here in America. I also love the exposure and knowledge I gained while I was overseas. I would definitely recommend anyone go abroad, as I plan to adventure out on another abroad trip for 5 weeks next summer in Italy. Caroline did in fact come and stay with me here in the states for 2 weeks after I was there in France. I will share that story at another time of what it was like bringing her to America.

Have any of you ever studied abroad or done a foreign exchange program?

-Ash

WHY START A BLOG?

HI FUTURE BLOGGERS!

For months, maybe even almost a year, I have been constantly thinking about starting a blog. It has always been something that I have wanted to eventually add into my life. And now, I’ve finally done it. YAY!

I’ve often heard people say that blogging can be very time consuming, a waste of your time, or simply pointless. Although there are many excuses, I can definitely disagree.  Most people who are not interested in the “blog world”, don’t quite understand all of the benefits of contributing to it.

1. It is a great outlet. 

At least for me, I’ve always found that writing out how I’m feeling in a more in depth context always makes me feel better. I like that I am able to open up a new post and write to my heart’s content and edit things exactly how I would like them to be. I also like that I can put my content out there for other people to read/relate to. 

2. It can hold your memories/feelings. 

Blogging is a great way to go back and remember how you were feeling in a certain point of your life. It’s fantastic to reflect and learn more about yourself and also remember what you set out to be. My blog is really truly for me. That’s why I started it so I could write and post for me and to me to read in the future. If people like reading about me and my thoughts, then that’s great, but it wasn’t my original intention. 

3. You can connect with other bloggers. 

Since I’ve recently started blogging, I’ve connected with so many sorority sisters of mine nationwide. I never knew this was possible until I started. I love going to other blog sites and reading about people’s experiences/advice that they have for the world. 

4. You’re in control.

You choose your content. You get to figure out what you want to post, and when. Nothing is on a deadline, or a time crunch. There’s absolutely no pressure. It’s all based around your own timeline and your own life.

5. It makes you feel good. 

At the end of the day when you see that people do read your content and they do care about what you’re saying, or that your blog post is published, it just brings a smile to your face. It does this because you weren’t expecting it to. Because you’ve put something out into the world that wasn’t there before. It also makes you feel good to see other people supporting other’s work. 

Why do you like blogging?

-Ash

HOW LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CRAYONS

HI THERE!

I often feel as though life can be comparable to a box of crayons. I’m not talking the MEGA PACK of 64 crayon boxes or the 3 crayons you used to get at a restaurant as a kid, but I’m talking about your traditional 24 box of crayons.

Well first, every box comes completely perfect. All 24 crayons are perfectly placed in the order they should be and each sharpened to be presented in its best possible condition. All of the colors are correctly placed next to one another. The box is generic and slapped with a label on the front.

As a child, the label they slapped on the front of your box was “boy” or “girl”. That was the first form of identification that anyone had. Nobody knew what was inside of the box, the imagination that the box held, the potential, or even the creativity. All they knew of you was your label.

Each crayon represents a different emotion in your life. For example, the yellow crayon could be your happiness, green crayon could be your motivation, blue crayon can be your sadness, grey crayon could be your tiredness, purple crayon could be your work ethic, red crayon could be your heart and so on and so forth. It’s how your thoughts and mind function.

Throughout the years of your childhood, each crayon in the box gets taken out and put in a new place. I consider this to be when you experience something new, it affects you differently and moves you to a different side of the box or your life. Whether it is a good or bad experience, it impacts the box overall on some type of measure.

Some of the crayons experience a rougher lifestyle than others, this is comparable to your emotions. As you can see, some people may appear to be happier people, but have a short temper. Other people may not do well under stress, but are very easy going. You wouldn’t realize it until the crayons have been used.

Crayons can break. Crayons can be lost. Crayons can be used up until nothing is left. Crayons can be kept perfect. Crayons can be flawless. Crayons can never be used and never experience anything.

What’s your box of crayons like?

-Ash

THE SUMMER OF ’15 I THREW WHAT I KNEW

Often times I wonder if people realize the significance and importance behind a “Throw What You Know”. A Throw What You Know means much more to me than than the Instagram likes, the followers, or the cool pictures. To me, it represents everything my sorority, Chi Omega, stands for. It represents our values, our mottos, our expectations, and everything we live by. It makes me take significant pride in being a sister.

The meaning is much deeper than it appears, and it is something so great you couldn’t possibly understand unless you were apart of it. A Throw What You Know represents a few of the following things to me:

1. Success. Not only the success of myself, but the success of my sisters within my chapter and nationally who are Chi Omega. The success of our scholarship, community service, sisterhood, philanthropy, and friendship in years past and many more years to come.

2. Pride. I have never contained more pride for an organization EVER in my life than I have with Chi Omega. I have experienced the importance in the value of sisterhood. Simply being a little sister brings me so much pride, as well as being a sister to 100+ women in my chapter.

3. Courage. Be brave, be bold, and don’t be afraid to follow your dreams. Chi Omega’s around the world throw what they know and it is such an inspiration to me. I’m inspired that these woman worldwide travel and chase after their dreams and bring their throw what they know with them. It only pushes me further to follow mine.

Always remember the true meaning behind your letters and it’s importance to you.

-Ash

HOW TO REMEDY A BAD DAY

HI YA’LL!

From time to time, we all have the occasionally “bad day”. It’s the day where the world just seems to have all the wrong cards played out for you and there is just nothing you can do about it. It is the point of which there is no return where you just have to throw in the towel. On these days, I typically wish they would just end so I could crawl into bed and start over the next day.

Well, along with many things that happened on my particularly bad day today, it started from me accidentally super gluing my two fingers together when I was trying to help repair one of the little kid’s (that I nanny) toys. Like, who does that? Welcome to the reality of my life.

Let me tell you. IT HURT SO BAD. I’m not one to have much of a high pain tolerance, so this was extremely painful as I somehow managed to disconnect my thumb from pointer finger from each other. Amongst many other things, these are a few of the things that I do to remedy a bad day.

1. Eat LOTS of ice cream. As I always say, ice cream heals all wounds. Seriously, it does. If you have a sweet tooth like me it always helps. I happened to go out and get frozen yogurt twice today. You betcha I had those brownie and cheesecake bite toppings.

2. Dance it out. Put on your favorite song, blast it, and just sing/dance it out as hard as you can. It is a great stress reliever and at the end of the song, you will end up feeling so much better. Don’t have a worry in the world. 

3. Re-read old text messages. This is one of my favorite things to do. I love screen shotting old text messages that made me smile, feel good inside, or just left me feeling happy. Going back and re-reading these will bring back good memories.

4. Go out in the sunshine. I absolutely love being out in the sun. It always makes my body & mind feel so clear and fresh. Getting some extra Vitamin D helps clear my head of anything that might be bothering me.

5. Retail therapy. This probably is one of my favorites. I adore finding something new to add into my life, especially when it comes to crafting/decorating for something (my future little). I love love love buying things, especially for others. It brings me a lot of joy.

Welp. I hope some of these tips/tricks that I currently use in my life could help you all out if you happen to come across a bad day. Let me know anything that you do to help remedy your bad days in the comments below!

-Ash

A LETTER TO MY 20 YEAR OLD SELF

HI YOU DIME!

Welcome to a brand new decade of your life! Welcome to the 20’s. These next ten years are going to be the prime years of your time. Within these next 10 years, I hope that you go out and accomplish all of the wonderful things that you are dreaming of now. I hope that you make all of your different Pinterest boards come to life.

You are a big dreamer, you always have a been a big dreamer. Remember that. Remember that you can go out and make huge, wonderful, amazing goals and you can chase after them. Remember that the limits you create are only the limits that you’re holding yourself back with.

I hope that you are happy. I hope that where ever you may be with your life right now there are multiple points of happiness. I hope that you are successful. I hope that you find yourself taking pride in who you are, and what you are doing with your life currently.

I hope that you have a destination and you’re always moving forward. 

Accomplish these things before you turn 21.

1. Make it to Italy. Just do it. You have to. I know it has been a dream of yours for years now. Go, do it, explore, meet people, learn, devour the culture, eat the amazing food, take the pictures, be spectacular. Do it now while you are 20. 

2. Get something published. Go and find a way to get yourself out there. Submit, submit, submit your work throughout the course of this year. Don’t be afraid of continuously trying and even if you get rejected, it doesn’t hurt to put yourself out there. You can network and work your way towards your bigger goals this way. 

3. Don’t let go of your blog. Keep your blog for your memories. Hang on to it so you can have a documentation of your feelings and how you work through your life. Remember that it is an awesome outlet for you. Remember how much you love expressing how you feel. You’ll want to look back and read it when your 30. Trust me. 

4. Take another photography class before you graduate. Please do. You absolutely loved Film Photography and it truly is a passion of yours that you need to explore more. Allow yourself the opportunity to learn and gain experience while you can. 

5. Get your own place! It’s time for you to move away from home. Find an apartment, get roommates, move forward with your life onto the next big thing. This is a big step, but I know you’re ready for it and you’re excited about it. 

6. Find another scholarship opportunity. The money is waiting for you there, you just have to put forth the time within your busy schedule and take advantage of the opportunity. You can do it again, I believe in you. 

7. Stay on Dean’s List. You did it one year strong, you can make it another. Maintain your Dean’s List status all the way until graduation. You’re smart, you’re intelligent, and you’re more than determined to do it. 

8. Volunteer more! Find an organization that you are passionate about and get involved volunteering. Discover this side of you that you might not know about and give back to the community. 

9. Start your retirement fund. WHAT? A retirement fund? Before you pay off your student loans? Yes, do it. Take $20 out of every paycheck you earn and put it in a new savings account. 

Don’t forget just how beautiful, determined, and overall AWESOME you are. You’re going to rock your 20’s. I know it.

-Ash

TRANSITIONING INTO A LONG DISTANCE (WORK) RELATIONSHIP

HI LOVES!

Most of us can relate to the difference in lifestyle you have from when you are on campus throughout the semester in comparison to when you are not on campus. Personally, I love being on campus all the time. I love the feeling of being jam-packed with a schedule that is never ending and always moving. That’s my favorite. But hey, that’s just me.

As far as relationships go, this was my first relationship in which I was seriously 5 minutes away walking distance from him. Do you know how nice that is? It’s wonderful. To be able to see one another at any hour of the day/for however long? Or if you had a rough day having someone there to come over and talk to you? It’s pretty great.

You become adjusted day in and day out of having someone so close. Your relationship becomes entirely based off in person communication, which is the way it should be, and your texting/phone-calls fade away, because they aren’t necessary in that instance.

The only text I would really receive would be “Where are you?”. 

I absolutely loved it that way. Now, it is summer. Well, it has been summer for a while. Both of us are back in our hometowns, and even though they aren’t that far away from each other, I mean you can definitely visit within a day, it’s very different.

It’s different because we never had a “texting” relationship, it was never a thing for us, it was never established. So, we have always and probably will always be best at communicating in person, directly.

I’m the type of person who loves communication. I love, love, love talking to people and hearing about their day, and knowing how they’re doing, and just the little details of everything. To me, it’s fun. Especially in the summer time where I’m a nanny and I have most of my time open to be exploring social media and on my phone.

However, that isn’t the case with him. His job is a full time job that takes up his entire day. From the moment he wakes up, until the moment he gets off work and climbs into bed he is busy. He is incredibly hard working, motivated, and I am so proud of all the effort he puts into his summer to make money. Truly, I am.

I’m in a long distance (working) relationship. At least, that’s what I like to think of it as. 

It’s not a matter of that he doesn’t want to talk to me, or that he doesn’t think of me, or that he doesn’t want to be with me, it simply is that he is just TOO busy. He is constantly working.

But, I understand that. I completely do. Summer time is prime time for college students to be making money, in fact, that’s all you should really be doing. It is their priority and main focus. At the start, it was hard, and we had our disagreements/we had to work through it, but now I have to say I’m okay with it. I’m used to the short very brief conversation. I’ve become adjusted to it, and more focused on myself these past few months more than anything.

But I know that he loves me. I trust him. That’s how I get through it. 

That’s probably why it’s so easy for me to do so. A year ago, I would’ve never been able to do a long distance relationship where you barely spoke. It would have been too hard for me to do so.

I think that’s another reason why I truly love being with this particular person. He really teaches me how to understand things I wouldn’t have understood before. He opens my eyes up to a second perspective and overall I have become so much more understanding than I ever was before.

Summer is winding down though and before I know it we will be back on campus again near each other. I am so excited and can’t wait. When they say distance makes the heart grow fonder, they meant it.

-Ash

My Freshman ROOMMATE Story (welcome to the hut)

HI YA!

Well, eep! I just finished my freshman year of college and I am about to begin my sophomore year. Sharing a space with someone you absolutely do not know can be challenging, but it also can be incredibly rewarding.

As you all may know from previous posts, I attend an in-state school, which is a huge advantage for me because of the reduced expenses, and the knowledge of knowing the area pretty well.

WELL… my freshman roommate was not from in state. In fact, her hometown was approximately 2,333 miles away in the glorious state of Utah. Before meeting her, I had never met anyone from the state of Utah. And in return, she had never seen so many trees before.

Blog… Meet Sav. 🙂 

Sav and I originally connected through the Facebook page that was created for our graduating class. Finding a roommate was comparable to a dating process. I would ask a series of interview questions, look through their pictures, try to get an idea of the type of the person they were through their social media. After talking 50+ girls and a month of searching, I found Sav. Some of the questions I asked her and I would encourage people to ask potential roommates would be:

1. Are you a messy/clean person? How often do you clean? How would you like the room to look? 

2. Do you smoke/drink? If so, how often do you typically go out? 

3. How do you feel about overnight guests? How long can they stay? 

4. What do you want to share? What don’t you want to share? 

5. What is your class schedule going to be like? 

6. What time do you go to sleep? What time do you wake up? 

7. Do you like to study with music on in the room? Do you like silence? 

8. Can you sleep with a light on? 

Her and I instantly connected from the get go. We both share the same major, Communications, with an interest in Journalism. We both had the same work ethic mentality, intentions to join a sorority, and we were both incredibly social people.

And this is where it all began. 

I could not have asked for a better roommate for my freshman year in college honestly, we had so much fun. From going through recruitment together, to having each other to come home to every night, her and I became each other’s family. Which is when we decided that the word “dorm” was not good or fitting enough for us.

This is when our dorm room became known as “the hut”. 

It had always been our joke to call it the hut because it was ridiculously small. We actually ended up receiving one of the SMALLEST double rooms on campus and so it was pretty tight. Throughout the course of the year, we rearranged our room multiple times to try to get the maximum space we could achieve.

Sav and I went through a lot over the course of two semesters. We grew to be so incredibly close that I considered to be like a sister to me. I told her absolutely everything, and she shared absolutely everything with me. We had an awesome relationship. Often times, people would comment on they thought we knew each other prior to college based on how well we got along.

She is incredible. She is very determined, smart, motivated, and incredibly hardworking individual with so much success all around her. I loved having a roommate that encouraged me and allowed me to encourage her and push her to be the best she could be.

As I always said to her, “We do not accept anything but A’s in the hut”. 

This really stuck with Sav. She would always get really excited if she received a phenomenal grade on an assignment in a class that was especially difficult for her. Same goes for me. We celebrated and acknowledge each other’s successes throughout the year. However, we were always there for each other to help through the downsides/hardships that came as well.

We both always took school very seriously, but we also acknowledged the fact that having “me time” and getting off campus or going to do something fun was always really important as well. We both made sure that the other person was always balanced, and we were always honest. We always made sure to tell the other person if something was wrong, or happening that might be upsetting.

ALWAYS be honest if anything is bothering you. It makes solving problems SO MUCH easier. 

A fantastic year grew into a wonderful, beautiful friendship between the two of us. The last day in the hut came sooner than either of us expected, move out day. It was incredibly difficult to leave, knowing how many memories were shared in those four walls.

Sav will now be living off campus for the upcoming year and I will be staying on campus, so we will not be living together again this year. But, I know that we will continue to maintain our friendship that was created. And as I always said to her, “Long live the Hut”.

Comment below any of your roommate experiences or questions you may have! I would love to hear them!

-Ash

WHY YOUR SECOND LOVE IS BETTER THAN YOUR FIRST (how we met)

OH HELLO!

I was once “that” girl. Oh, you know, the girl that falls “in love” back in high school and finds herself dreaming endlessly about her future with this guy who you think is “everything”. You think you’ll go and stay together through college, potentially get married, basically spend the rest of your life with your “first love”. Yeah, that was me.

Well, we spent about two years together. Fantastic relationship, honestly, it was, we had great memories and we truly were that couple in high school that everyone wishes they were. You know, the high school sweethearts type. I was nuts about this guy.

I was so wrapped up in the relationship itself I did not even see it coming. The summer before college, we broke up. The idea of long distance and college ultimately made him feel very intimidated, nervous, scared, and overall he claims he just wasn’t happy with the relationship anymore. I did not even see it coming.

So, WAM! Heartbreak. What you didn’t expect to happen, well happens.

And I can say now, I am SO happy it did. It gave me a reality check.

Yes, I mean, heartbreak is painful. It hurt, it sucks, you spend days in and out crying, it takes time to heal your wounded heart. Honestly it does. Some people spend days, weeks, months, and even years getting over someone.

That wasn’t the case with me. 

After spending two years with someone, you kind of forget how to “date”. You don’t really realize the whole dating experience, and meeting people, you just became so adjusted with what was comfortable with that particular person.

Since it was summer time, I spent a lot of my time going and hanging out with my friends, staying out and busy and occupied and just trying giving myself a chance to really get to know me.

It was a learning experience, at least that’s how I took it to be. 

I would encourage people to do that. When you go through a heart break, truly take the time to reflect on your own life. Reflect on the relationship. Keep an open mind, and really realize what happened and what you would have wanted to change and done differently. It gives you an opportunity to know more about who you are as a person and the type of characteristics you really would love to have in someone.

Three weeks later I met my second love. 

Wow, three weeks. Someone has got to say, fast? Oh, incredibly. So fast paced you didn’t see it coming. That was the best part. It was all so incredibly (and still is) SPONTANEOUS. I love it so much I can’t get enough of it.

End of July last year. We went on our first date. Well, we didn’t decide to call it our first date until after it was over. We originally went with the intentions of meeting each other in person to become friends since we lived in the same area and would be going to the same college in just a few weeks. (We were friends on social media).

Like hey, YES, Ash, go make friends. That’s what you’re good at. That’s what you like to do. That was my intention.

So, this guy, invites me to dinner to talk. I drive all the way out to his town to meet him. The moment I stepped out of my car and saw him leaning up against the column of the restaurant smiling, before I even said a single word, I just knew. I already knew what was about to happen before it even happened.

And I thought to myself, Oh shit. 

The date was flawless. Absolutely perfect and everything you could possibly imagine. I felt 110% completely like myself throughout the entire thing. He was gorgeous, smart, funny, charming, all around he had the perfect personality. It was so comfortable, casual, just truly exactly what I could have hoped for and wanted. The conversation flowed so perfectly. Yet, it was all new. I had no idea what to expect.

So… this is where I began to learn about myself.

1. Don’t Set Time Limits. 

You do not want to give yourself an expectation of the duration of a relationship, honestly don’t. I began to really emphasize and “go with the flow” motto with everything. I could not be happier that I do. We both agreed on the mindset that if we are both happy, and things are great, we stay together. The day it changes, well we go our separate ways.

2. Don’t Have Expectations. 

Don’t be bought by money. Don’t don’t don’t don’t. Don’t expect things in a relationship just because of a time limit of how long you’ve been together, or a holiday. Don’t expect that you are deserving of a incredibly expensive ridiculous gift or date. That isn’t FUN. It isn’t romantic, well in my opinion it isn’t. Relationships are so much more fun when they are simple. Let the romance play out spontaneously. Allow yourself to be surprised.

3. He is Not Your Everything, He is Only a Piece of You. 

Remember that he does not define you. Remember that you are an individual with values, purpose, goals, aspirations, and a future. He is a piece of you, he can certainly shape you, open your mind, and be apart of your life. But he does NOT define you. You must be your own person before you can be with someone else. Their problems, their troubles, their discomforts are certainly not YOUR discomforts. You can be there for that person, but you are not responsible for their life.

Along with many more life realizations, those are three big things that stood out to me as I approached this “new found” romance that was developing.

I had no idea if this was just going to be a fun summer fling, a relationship, a friendship, I had no idea. So I did not set any expectation upon it.

Later that night, after I drove back to my hometown, he reached out to me to tell me just what a truly amazing time he had, and that he wanted to see me again. Very soon.

Over the course of the next week, we saw each other 4 or 5 times. He would drive out to my hometown, or I would drive out to his hometown. I like to say that we had such spectacular dates that a typical relationship would have experienced over the course of two months. We moved fast.

We connected so well. 

I was nervous. I’m not going to lie, I was super nervous at the time that the “good feeling” of just meeting someone was going to be swept away under my feet, that possibly I was moving too fast into things, or maybe that I should wait until I moved in to college to see if a relationship was what I really wanted right now.

Oh, no no no. That did not work for him. He wanted ME. 

So, he is very forward. He knows what he wants and he knows how he wants to get it. He’s honest, which I truly admire and adore about him. Which is why he said, “Be my girlfriend. Let’s make it official. I’m asking you the next time I see you”.

And that’s where it all began. August 4th, 2014.

He understands all my quirks, my crazy personality, and exactly how I am and he completely loves me throughout all of it. He has taught me so much about myself over the course of this past year, and our relationship is just as spontaneous and fun as it was the day we first met.

And I am crazy about him. But he is not my everything.

More stories to come.

-Ash

The Journey of Finding my BIG Sister

HI BEAUTIES!

Last October I experienced the rush of emotions brought to me by Big & Little “Clue Week”. For those of you who are not aware, Clue Week is an entire week where you are given a series of gifts that contain clues to try and help you guess who your big sister might be. Some of my clues included several painted canvases, wooden Chi Omega letters, and anything and everything with owls!

HOOTIE HOO! 

I mean, who wouldn’t love running around campus collecting clues and given all of the suspense of not knowing who it could be? I mean, I sure did. However, little did I know that becoming a little and gaining a big was much much much more impactful on my life than I could have ever imagine it being.

For starters, my big sister, Hannah, is by far my biggest fan in life. She is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS encouraging me and motivating me to be the best version of myself. She has become truly, my role model throughout everything. Hannah is perfect. Truly, if you ever met someone who just knew everything and anything on life it would be her. She knows exactly how to approach and handle any given situation that may come across her way.

A big and little relationship is so special. You will never experience anything like it that is comparable. A big sister is there to be a guide. You can believe it that she will be the best tour guide you’ve ever received. She is meant to help you, encourage you, support you, protect you (Hannah is VERY good at this one), and show you the ropes as you begin your sorority experience as a new member.

However, the relationship is definitely a two way street. At least, mine sure is. I’m there for Hannah exactly and equally as much as she is here for me. It is a special two way bond.

You will begin to create COUNTLESS memories with your big. The relationship you create with her is going to be unlike any other relationship you have with any of your other sorority sisters.

-Ash