FIRST DAY OF CLASSES AND I AM SO OVERWHELMED?

HI LOVES!

I apologize I haven’t posted in quite some time. The past few weeks leading up to coming back to GMU have been incredibly busy for me. Between moving in, starting a brand new job, and just getting adjusted to an entirely new schedule I have barely had a moment for myself to sit down.

So here I am. Sitting outside one of the academic buildings and there are probably about 4,000 people right in my viewpoint within a matter of feet away from me all rushing in different directions, but I am stuck here, sitting writing, releasing all of my current frustrations and problems into this wonderful little blog post before I run into my next class. Hopefully, by the time I finish writing this I will feel a lot better.

So hi everyone. I’m broke. As of this morning from buying my last round of college textbooks I am officially broke. I can not even afford groceries for the upcoming week. How am I supposed to eat? I can not put gas in my car. How am I supposed to get to work? I feel so incredibly limited and I absolutely hate the feeling of not feeling secure.

Like I said earlier, I started a new job. A brand new job, with an entire training period, and reduced pay for training. (That’s its own new story in it’s own). Even though I am almost done with my training, I have yet to receive that training paycheck. I don’t receive that for a little more than a week.

So for the first time in awhile, I reached out to my parents. And said, help.

I have never and barely have ever asked my parents for help when it comes to money. I love the independent feeling of being in charge of my money, earning it, saving it, working towards something, and just feeling in an all around sense, empowered with my own money. Of course, they always absolutely have my back and were more than willing to be there for me, of course of course of course! And, for that I am forever grateful.

I pay for my college tuition. Through the works of financial aid, grants, scholarships, and essentially working my ass off, I figure it out and I get it done. That’s kinda my motto. I’ll figure it out. I always do. It has all been in my name. And I’m entirely proud of that. I am so incredibly proud of the fact that at 19 years old I have made it through three semesters of college and have figured it out without taking out a single private loan (yet).

So yes, I added a new job this year to take on. I work two other jobs beyond that as well. One of them is not paid and is a writing opportunity which I personally enjoy, the other is a minimum wage job just on campus which I got last year, and the new one is going to give me a lot of ground in the sense of being stable with money and be my main focus.

So as of today, I am a full time college student and I will also work 20-30 hours a week beyond that. Do you know how stressful that sounds? Because I am so stressed just thinking of the thought of what it is all going to be like. I’m just wondering when I am going to sleep and how I am going to make it work. Will I become a coffee addict? Will I have to pull continuous all nighters? I haven’t even touched on my sorority schedule yet as well mixed into all that, when I’ll eat, when I’ll workout, absolutely anything and everything.

As far as school work comes, I am a perfectionist. Absolutely a perfectionist with all of my work. It must be perfect and I will do everything and everything for it to be perfect prior to submitting any assignment. With that being said, I would sacrifice anything for good grades. Sleep. A meal. You name it.

So, with being a perfectionist as well as someone who is entirely independent when it comes to money, I know I will be okay. I absolutely know, and say, and tell myself you know everything is okay. I’m going to take the next couple weeks as I struggle a bit to find my foot placement as a learning experience. So, BIG DEEP BREATH- Ashley you can do it.

You’re a college student. College students are supposed to be broke. It doesn’t mean you can’t still be happy.

🙂

For anyone else who is feeling the same feelings or emotions or stressors caused by money, just know you aren’t alone. Other people are in your same shoes and know what it’s like to crunch into a time to just make it through okay.

At least, I do.

I’m going to get back to jumping in and getting to know all the new people today. Which, makes me very excited and happy. Plus, I love being back here at college. I’ll post about my classes and professors and experiences later this week. For now though, don’t let one thing overwhelm your entire day. Just remember it is a piece of you, and not all of you.

-Ash